Musical Chair Master

When I start a new job or a enter an unfamiliar social circle, it takes 2-4 months for me to really make people my friends. Why so long you ask? I think it's because I can come across as an annoying, uptight goody-two-shoes, but that's just a theory. However, after this 2-4 month period, I usually end up doing something outrageously funny that wins everyone over. At this point, people realize I'm a little bit awesome.

That's me. I am that one friend.

I have been working at Perkins since May, and experienced one of those friend-defining moments last night with my coworkers. Since I started, I've heard the night servers talking about "black-out Monday" and how they go out together drinking on Mondays. I have waited patiently to have a Monday night off and receive an invitation to join. It finally happened this weekend!

The night started off mellow. I grabbed dinner and a few drinks with other friends and then met up with my coworkers. By the time we left the first bar, I was about 3 shots and 4 mixed drinks in, and I was feeling pretty good. We decided to go to Bucks, which is our town's trashy bar. It's not that the bar or drinks are that bad, it's just the atmosphere attracts a lot of annoying, trashy people. Also, bad (embarrassing) things always happen at Bucks.

Shortly after arriving, I notice that the DJ is setting up chairs in a circle on the dance floor. I have a momentary freak out. "Is he setting up musical chairs?!" I exclaim to everyone around me. If there is one thing that I enjoy it is children's games played by drunk adults. I walk up to the DJ and confirm that musical chairs is, in fact, happening. I immediately take a seat. My coworkers all go outside for a cigarette. (Bars are smoke free in North Dakota.)

expectation

reality 

I'm sitting there on my own, feeling a little bit like a loser. However, if there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I get extremely competitive in situations such as these. (I once stuffed 4 zebra cakes, one at a time, whole in my mouth to win an eating competition in which the prize was a t-shirt.) The rules are simple: you must keep dancing; if you are without a chair when the music stops, you loose; and if two butts end up on one chair, there will be a dance-off to decide who remains in the game. The winner receives a $25 gift certificate.

The game is a few rounds under way when I see my coworkers come back inside. There has already been one dance-off, I have been sat on twice, and I've hip checked a girl off of my chair. I see them laughing at me and cheering me on, and my confidence increases. I'm getting really into the dancing and the game by this point.

There's another dance-off that gets a sexual, and we're down to about 10 people. All of the sudden, I realize that my butt is sharing a seat with someone else. I look at my coworkers, horrified. "I do NOT want to do a dance-off," I yell to them.

I'm not a terrible dancer, nor am I completely unattractive. Still, I'm a full-figured, married lady, and the girl I'm up against is much hotter and much more single than I am. The winner of the dance-off is decided by how loud the crowd cheers for you, and I know she's already got 90% of the male patrons' attention. Instead of loosing gracefully, I figure my best bet is to be as ridiculous as possible. I start doing my pizza dough dance (don't ask) and then thrashing around. When she starts doing a booty-shaking- sexy dance, I simply start grinding up on her. Basically, I danced like the white girl that I am. In the end, it was a very close call, but I won by sheer hilarity and commitment.

The game continues, my friends are loving it (this is the moment when they went from coworkers to friends, you see). I notice a couple guys on the side trying to get my attention. At first, I thought they were trash-talking me and telling me I shouldn't win. I felt embarrassed for a moment. Maybe my dance-off-ing went too far? Then I realize, they are telling me that I should win. I'm now so cool that I have strangers forming a cheering section.

The rest of the game went quickly, and after making a complete fool of myself, there is no way I'm loosing. I ended up winning the won the $25 gift certificate. I have also won over my coworkers. I now consider myself the Sheldon Cooper of musical chairs.

I feel like work will be a much more enjoyable experience now. My new friends are the coolest. We also met Jim from Minnesota, Breanne  pretended to poop in a mailbox, and I almost punched a guy for spilling his beer on Kimber's dress. Ahhhh, Perkins adventures. I feel that this was the first of many for me.